Daring to ask

Being single all my life, I’ve often wondered how it is that people actually become couples and start relationships. I have never understood how people make the change from strangers to friends to in a relationship, and for a while it’s seemed as though it’s this unspoken thing that just happens, or there’s some form of telepathy between people that’s involved that makes it super easy to just be together.

When I was younger and in my teens, everyone else was just discovering what dating was and ‘liking’ someone else, and experiencing all the ‘firsts’ that come along with that, while I

was being crippled by shyness, anxiety and depression which pretty much opted me out of all the fun stuff. I was barely well enough to be comfortable with my friends, let alone test out the waters with someone in that way. So I skipped all that, and here I am at 22, only just now discovering how it all works, and what I’ve found is that it’s all quite simple really.

You just have to ask. If you like someone and you want to go out with them, you can just ask them to go out. If you want to know if they like you back, you can just ask them if they like you. When you want to talk to someone you like, you should just talk to them. These are things that even a year ago I would have been too scared to do, but I’ve since realised that it’s not scary at all. The worst thing that could happen, is that they say no, or they say they don’t like you back and that’s not that bad at all in the grand scheme of things. It might feel disappointing for a moment but it won’t matter because the pride you feel in yourself for taking that leap will easily overpower it.

A few weeks ago now, I asked a guy out and I told him that I liked him. I wrote out the message so many times, in all different wordings and worried about every possible outcome. And when I finally sent that message, instead of feeling the oncoming dread in anticipation of the reply, I felt incredible! I felt free and lifted and powerful. And I don’t use those words lightly; when you are in control of your destiny, when you are involved in the choosing of the course of your life, it feels amazing. And I found that I cared a lot less than I thought I would about what the reply would be, because I was confident that whatever it was, I was going to be okay.

(He did say yes though…).

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